Celebrity Beauty Pageant

 (Everything in this post was generated by AI.)

 INT. BEAUTY PAGEANT STAGE - DAY

Mae West, Veronica Lake, Hedy Lamarr and Anne Francis are on stage in their swimsuits, all vying for the title of Miss Glamour. Groucho Marx, Dick Cavett and Mike Tyson are sitting at a table as judges.

GROUCHO: Welcome to the Miss Glamour pageant. Our lovely contestants today are a real knockout. And I should know, I’ve been knocked out by each and every one of them.

The audience chuckles.

DICK: Yes, Groucho, these ladies are some of the most beautiful women in the world.

MIKE: (grinning) Yeah, I’m looking forward to getting to know them better.

Hedy, Anne, Veronica and Mae each strike a pose as the judges ogle them.

GROUCHO: First up, we have Hedy Lamarr. Hedy, what’s your talent?

HEDY: (smiling) I’m an inventor, Groucho.

GROUCHO: Really? What have you invented?

HEDY: Well, during World War II, I co-developed a frequency-hopping spread-spectrum technology for torpedo guidance. It’s also the basis for modern-day Wi-Fi, GPS and Bluetooth.

Groucho looks confused, and the audience looks bored.

GROUCHO: Uh, that’s great, Hedy. But can you sing or dance?

Hedy looks disappointed.

DICK: Next up, we have Anne Francis. Anne, tell us about your talent.

ANNE: I’m an actress, Dick.

DICK: Ah, that’s wonderful. What’s your favorite role?

ANNE: (smiling) Oh, definitely Altaira in Forbidden Planet. I got to wear some really amazing futuristic outfits.

VERONICA: (whispering to Mae) I think I’m in trouble. These girls are smart.

MAE: (whispering back) Don’t worry, darling. You’ve got something they don’t.

GROUCHO: Alright, next we have Veronica Lake. Veronica, what’s your talent?

VERONICA: (flipping her hair) I’m an actress, Groucho.

GROUCHO: Wonderful. What’s your favorite role?

VERONICA: (smiling) Definitely Jennifer in Sullivan’s Travels. I got to wear some really amazing hats.

MIKE: (nodding) I like a woman who knows how to accessorize.

GROUCHO: Alright, last but not least, we have Mae West. Mae, what’s your talent?

MAE: (smiling seductively) Well, I’m a triple threat, Groucho. I can sing, dance and act.

GROUCHO: (impressed) That’s quite a resume. What’s your favorite role?

MAE: (winking) Oh, it’s hard to pick just one. I’ve played so many iconic characters over the years. But I’d have to say my favorite role is being myself.

The audience cheers and Groucho nods appreciatively.

GROUCHO: Alright, it’s time for the swimsuit competition. Ladies, take it away!

The ladies each strut their stuff on stage as the judges watch intently.

DICK: (to Mike) So, who do you think is the frontrunner?

MIKE: (shrugs) I don’t know. They all look pretty good to me.

Suddenly, the lights go out and a man in a cowboy hat and leather jacket appears on stage, brandishing a gun.

COWBOY: Alright, nobody move! This is a robbery!

The judges and audience gasp in terror.