Cobra Commander, Destro And Baroness Take 2

 

Title: A Misguided Mission

The moon cast a silvery glow over the hidden Cobra lair, tucked away in the mountains. Inside, Destro, Baroness, and Cobra Commander were gathered around a holographic map, plotting their latest scheme to take over the world. Tension was high, as usual, with Cobra Commander barking orders and Baroness and Destro exchanging knowing glances.

"Destro, the plan must be flawless!" Cobra Commander screeched, his voice echoing through the cavernous room. "We cannot afford any mistakes this time!"

"Relax, Commander," Destro replied, his metallic mask gleaming in the dim light. "Everything is under control."

Baroness, standing between the two men, rolled her eyes. "You boys are always so serious. Perhaps you need a... distraction."

Cobra Commander paused, his serpentine eyes narrowing. "What do you mean, Baroness?"

She smirked, her red lips curving into a mischievous smile. "I have an idea that might help us... bond as a team."

Destro raised an eyebrow. "Bond as a team? What are you suggesting?"

Baroness sauntered over to the control panel and dimmed the lights. "Why don't we take a break from our usual activities and... get to know each other better?"

Cobra Commander looked puzzled. "Baroness, what are you talking about? We know each other very well. We plot world domination together."

Baroness rolled her eyes again. "Not like that, you fool. I mean a more... intimate bonding experience."

Destro's eyes widened behind his mask. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Precisely," Baroness purred, stepping closer to the two men. "A threesome. It'll be good for morale."

Cobra Commander spluttered, his face turning an odd shade of crimson. "A threesome? Baroness, have you lost your mind?"

Baroness laughed, her voice sultry. "Oh, come on, Commander. Where's your sense of adventure? Besides, it might be fun."

Destro cleared his throat. "I'm not entirely sure this is appropriate, Baroness."

Baroness shrugged. "Since when have we ever been appropriate? Think of it as team-building. And who knows? Maybe it'll help us work better together."

Cobra Commander shook his head, trying to regain his composure. "This is highly unorthodox. But... perhaps it could be beneficial."

Destro sighed, glancing at Baroness. "Fine. If this is what it takes to keep the team united, then so be it."

Baroness clapped her hands, delighted. "Excellent! Now, let's get started."

As the three of them moved toward the oversized, villainously adorned bed, the atmosphere grew increasingly awkward. Cobra Commander kept his mask on, of course, while Destro’s metal faceplate glinted under the soft lighting.

Baroness, ever the seductress, tried to set the mood by putting on some music. She fumbled with the control panel, accidentally playing "Yakety Sax" instead of something more romantic. The lively tune filled the room, and she quickly changed it, but not before Destro and Cobra Commander exchanged bewildered glances.

"Alright, let's try to be... professional about this," Baroness said, slipping out of her combat suit.

Cobra Commander awkwardly attempted to remove his uniform, struggling with the various straps and buckles. Destro, already shirtless, looked at Baroness and muttered, "Are we really doing this?"

Baroness sighed. "Yes, Destro. Just go with it."

As the three of them finally climbed onto the bed, it became clear that none of them had any idea what they were doing. Cobra Commander’s high-pitched voice kept ruining the mood with comments like, "Is this how it's supposed to feel?" and "Watch my cape, Destro!"

Baroness tried to maintain some semblance of control, but it quickly descended into chaos. Destro’s metal mask clanged against Cobra Commander’s helmet, and Baroness ended up tangled in the bed sheets, laughing uncontrollably.

"Alright, enough!" Cobra Commander finally shouted, throwing his hands up in defeat. "This is a disaster!"

Destro chuckled, pulling Baroness free from the sheets. "Perhaps this wasn't the best idea after all."

Baroness, still giggling, nodded. "Agreed. But at least we tried."

Cobra Commander sighed, shaking his head. "Let's just get back to taking over the world, shall we?"

The three villains climbed off the bed, hastily putting their uniforms back on. As they returned to their holographic map, a newfound sense of camaraderie hung in the air. They might not have succeeded in their unconventional team-building exercise, but at least they’d shared a laugh. And for a group of supervillains, that was a victory in itself.